What Might Have Been!

I am feeling oh so excited to take a year off of making calendars!

I have loved making the calendars since 2009 but it is nice not to push with all the other activities going on.

Here are some things that would have been in the 2015 calendar and might be in the 2016 one.

RECIPES

• Fragrant Rice with Lentils
• Persimmon Pudding
• Turkey Roll with Wild Rice and Cranberry Stuffing
• Green Tomato Pizza

ART 

Mermaids Entwined in Love

Crane Pond - My Earth Day tribute. White crane with black accents standing in turquoise water with yellow water lilies and lush green marsh grasses

Madre Tierra (Earth Mother) Very pregnant native woman sitting cross legged on a leaf thrown  surrounded bycolorful flowers

Raven's Head - Black raven on top of a skull amongst scattered skelliton with a red sky and big yellow moon.

Here are the major announcements of the moment

• I am probably buying a condo with a 2 car garage which I will make into my art studio with room for creating, framing, documenting (photos), storage and display!
• I got a great camera awhile back and just need to remember to charge it and learn how to use it.
• I am thinking of experimenting with cork cut outs if I have a nice size studio space,
• I have a dream of someday having a kiln on my new covered patio but that probably won't actually happen.
• I have a show coming up in January at a local Gresham Unitarian Unilateralist congregation thanks to my realtor, 
• Most important, I sold this great piece at my Coffee Time display and that made me happy

  

  Blooms 2012 A green plant person sitting in a wheelchair  with a yellow and orange flower face and orange, red and yellow flower hands. There is bright blue sky and light green grass in the background with white sensing canes supporting vines with pink and purple flowers. The idea being mobility devices as supports to growth.

Unearthing Ancient Art

White plaster mask from the 1980s with random  patterns of red, purple, pink and blue

As I purge and pack I keep coming across old art. Maybe not ancient art but it feels "ancient" in the saga of my life. Apparently masks have been part of my art  for a long time. The above mask was created as part of a mask making class I led at camp around 1980 probably. This was my curvy meets pointy  asymmetric period of playful decorating.

Clay mask from high school or maybe Jr. High - Lovely rich dark ocher yellow with cut out mouth and eyes and raised lips, tear drops and a lumpy nose

In high school and even before HS ceramics were my fave so I went through a sculptured face phase. I remember feeling influenced by the court jester's and medieval masks that were popular at Renaissance Fairs.

Another plaster mask created at camp in Mendocino in the 1980sanother random pink and blue almost symmetric pattern

These are the only mask that survived but there were many more over the years. As I keep throwing things away in my move I wonder, is it time to let this earlier art go? I had this sculpture teacher many years ago who gave us one huge lump of clay for the whole summer. He wanted us to create art take pic and then destroy our creations and reuse the clay. He said if we were going to be artist we needed to detach from our products because it is about creating not the creation itself. 

Well I always wanted to be an anthropologist and keeping such things is important to the fossil record of an artistic evolution.

Even today I still am drawn to the significance of mask. 

M. Butterfly - a beautiful woman in a green kimono with blue butterfly wings and a yellow headdress with a feminine and masculine kabuki mask in the background.

Fragile beauty sometimes in front of the mask and sometimes hidden behind it. Transformation takes many forms.

Faceless Art

Young faceless woman in a black cape with 2 lion cubs in the moon lite  within the cape. An old letter to a friend many, many years ago (circa 1980). My teen years were a little angsty. 

 

A while back my buddy Adam sent this old letter back to me.It is interesting that there is no face and now I make faceless people. Does this mean anything?

My answer is who the heck knows but it has come in handy. I have some Muslin friends and acquaintances who follow the practice of not having art with faces. I still need to research this but have not yet. Anyway my faceless art has been convenient when showing my art to members of the Muslim community.

One young man told me this great story of his son finding a way to negotiate the faceless thing in elementary school. Mohamed shared how at a parent teacher conference the teacher asked why his son always drew the family in sunglasses. No one in the school understood Muslim culture and kept asking the children to draw people so this kid figured out how to tread the line by putting sunglasses on everyone. Yay creative kid, I thought this was an awesome story.

eid sisterhood - a feast with a Russian Jewish grandma carrying a plate of fish, a muslim mother with a bowl of fruit and a nun carrying a loaf of bread. In Spain an many places Christians, Jews and muslims lived together for centuries creating strong rich culturally diverse communities.

I just stumbled into making art that is accessible to my muslim friends and now I have an excuse for no faces. I actually was able to donate the above piece to the Muslim Educational Trust here in Portland because of the combination of no faces and my fascination with multiple religions with the practice of covered heads. I wanted to create a piece of art showing the commonalities of cultural practices and the women coming together in sisterhood since eid al fitr is about uniting in brotherhood.

I very much respect the work of the Muslim Educational Trust. I have learned so much through this great organization that cares very much about building collaborative relationships in the larger community.

A few last things to share. First is about capitalizing some muslims do not use capital letters so my lack of capitalizing is on purpose. The second thing is about brothers and sisters, I am getting use to using brother and sister as a title because I now understand it. If we all come from Adam and Eve then we are all brothers and sisters so if someone from the muslim faith refers to you or someone as "brother" or "sister" it totally makes sense. This is sometimes hard when I want to show respect and call someone "tio" or "tia" because to me uncles and aunts are the wise ones I offer respect to.

   

Is Art a Spiritual Journey?

Gifts from the Guardians -A slender bald pale woman in a yellow summer dress sitting cross legged in the middle of the barren rocky earth at piece holding a feather. above the woman floating in the blue sky are 3 (native man, Chinese woman and Caribbean woman angels showering her with feathers from their wings.

In this facebook artist group I am part of there has been this discussion of following ones path as an artist being a spiritual journey. Some of the talk is of finding self love and all the things artist must go through as they participate in a career that is regarded as a hobby. I want to focus on the moment my art shifted and and art became a calling.

I had been creating art for gifts out of financial necessity and it did become therapeutic in the year after my sister passed.  

Pam's Love - hot pink background with 2 light pink rose buds, 2 black humming birds and 2 black cat with their tales creating a heart - My sister's favorite things pink, pink roses, beds and black cats

I even started selling some work and getting a few fans at this time because the spirit was close but had not popped out yet.

Preguntas para mi Abuelita (Questions for my Grandmother) - 3 decorated skulls nestled in a bed of marigolds and poinsettias with 2 taper candles burning.

Maybe the spirit was there and I was not aware that it was guiding my hand in the Preguntas piece above. I did not know why I created 3 skulls but as I started layering the art I realized they were my sister (upper left with pinks and blues) my abuela/grandmother (lower center with pink and orange) and my abuelo/grandfather (upper right with orange and red). It is true I like to intersperse odd and even number sets of objects but this was more more than just liking 3 objects it was my loved ones. 


My sister always straddled the line between masculine and feminine energy so the choice to use pink, blue and purple made sense also that skull has the most detail because of the deep love and connection I will always have with my "seester". 

My crazy wonderful beloved sister Pam who always wanted me to succeed through my natural talents not by trying to fit in a box.

My abuela is a bridge with the femininity and fuego de la gente de la Tierra Amarilla (fire of the people of the Yellow Earth my mom's birth place in NM). Her skull is the least complete because this is where I feel the least connection yet she is integral to this story. My mother loved the memory of her mother and my sister favored Abuela in her own way which comes through in the shared pink. It all sounds planned out as I write but all this came as I way layering the flowers and skulls which made the art make total sense to me.

I saved for last the skull of my abuelo because he has been my spiritual guide from the land of my ancestors. Abuelo was the fire and passion of the yellow earth he died as a very young man so still had the machismo and passion which came out in red and orange with straight lines and sharp angels which I always consider to be very exuberant male energy. 

The art sometimes creates itself then tells what the story is which I believe is nothing less than a spiritual experience. Other times  it is clearly a spiritual experience from the beginning when the vision strikes clearly and must manifest as art. Which is what happened with Gifts from the Gaurdians which I thought was the start of my spiritual journey through art.

 

By writing this post I have discovered that the journey started before Gifts maybe with Preguntas or possibly even earlier.

The reason I thought the journey started with Guardians is because this was the first time a piece was directed from a vision. I was riding home on a bus trying to keep from crying because a new acquaintance was in the hospital for probably the last time as her battle with cancer was ending. I had lost my sister less than 2 years before this and I was so sad for my acquaintances' family. 

Many many years ago when I flew 80 feet through the air off the back of a motorcycle and knew I would die I came to the realization that death was just this thing that happens. I felt no regret, no I wish I had (fill in the blank), just peace and I relaxed but I knew the folks left behind were the ones  who would be in pain. 

Because of my experiences with losing Pam I was sure my acquaintance was being watched over and showered with love as she transitioned into the next place. This vision just came to me with angels from around the world hovering over my friend as she meditated and they were dropping feathers from their wings. I made an image of this piece into a card and hoped that it would bring comfort to my friend and her family. The guardians were watching over all of them though the process I am sure.

Now this piece is owned by a woman who lost her brother to cancer almost 20 years ago and just felt the message come through clearly.

Paying attention to this vision is when I opened the door to my spiritual journey. 

I am very curious for artist who recreate what is in front of them, what is their spiritual journey like? I can not help but believe that the spirit is part of  every artist journey and it manifest differently in each of us which just makes me curious.

 

Lavaun

I Just Had To Share

Into Womanhood, Latina, USA American, East Indies, Creole, Mandarin, West African and Muslim young women carrying the moon out of a blood red cave based created by the silhouettes of 2 women's torsos. I just got a new camera so I promise better quality pics coming soon.

Many of you have figured out that I love color/colour + diversity along with exploring ethnicity and culture. Well I just read this artist originally from India's interview that I really wanted to share.
http://enkoart.wordpress.com/2014/07/08/raman-gill/ 

I love the Thought Mia from Enko puts into her interviews. Many of my artist friends have been featured and it is so fun learning whole new sides of them. My mom even learned a new side of me after my interview. Here is part of an e-mail she sent me.

..."What a gift.  I am a bit stunned and I am sitting in the comfort of the deepness.  Your words are tumbling within my being. I feel like I have been at the table of one of my ancestors but you are my descendant!  

The memory that comes up was of my taking you to the ocean to collect clay for your art project.  And, I remember the thoughts of that day of feeling that our ancestors before us did what you were doing that day and you were carry-ing the lineage of our people.  I feel so peacefully subdued in the voice of our people. "...   

In case you did not catch my Enko interview my mom was referring to here is the link. 
http://enkoart.blogspot.com/2014/06/artist-lavaun-heaster-birthplace-bay.html

And for any of you artist who have not signed up yet go check out enkoart something amazing will happen as you learn about yourself through the process.

Is iIt Ever OK to Stop Producing Art?

No recent post because I have not produced anything for awhile. No art in this post just a update as to why nothing new recently with a question at the end that I would love to hear back from you.

Me questioning and thinking, I spend a lot of time in my head!

 
I struggle because I keep reading about how you should keep creating every day even when you are not inspired. It is not a lack of inspiration with me just a sense of overwhelm where I can not figure out how to fit art into the mix.

My normal pattern is to work, work, work on my various community organizing and art business stuff along with juggling finances without adequate resources. Eventually I hit the burn out place where I need to shut down and clear some psychic energy through creating art. Unfortunately right now I can not find my way back to creating art.

I have this vision of lowers filling a crater which came after I heard the growth on my eyelid was benign skin cancer. I felt like this thing on my face had burst forth into an overgrowth which made me think of my wild out of control yard. Even with all the limitations placed on me since the surgery to remove "my overgrowth" I can't make myself sit still and create this piece of art.

Gil "the boyfriend" and I 4 or 5 years ago

Then there is the overgrowth I mentioned in my yard, this is taking up tremendous space in my mind. My housemate/6 year committed relationship is moving to follow his dream of a very late career shift from electrical engineering to lab science  I feel pushed into some tough decisions because even though he told me this was coming I did not make realistic financial plans for survival.

Selling my home means I have to clean out 12 years of overgrowth in "stuff" and deal with the yard of overgrowth.

Yes I can get another roommate and limp along with my leaking roof and foundation until hopefully "he" returns to Portland and we can start a new life together. I am getting clear that it is time to step out and stop the $ bleeding of an old house from my former life when I had a good paying job. I love the familiarity of my home but I can not afford it and am hoping for enough equity to downsize into an artist loft http://milepost5.net/lofts/photos/. What a huge change that has to happen ASAP.

It is also time to stop waiting for the relationship to provide a stabilizing presence "he" lives a life where a house and family have never been his priority. I have watched so many others work through these really difficult transitions and have been here before but somehow it has me paralyzed right now. 

How do people work and function when they are having health complications and major loss all at once? I know artist are suppose to take the pain and chaos and transform through artistic expression but that has never been my intent. I think it often happens with us intuitive artist yet art as therapy usually takes distance and time for reflection with me.

Action always makes me feel less stuck so maybe after writing this or meeting with my friends for brainstorming an action planning enough space will be cleared for art to come back.

I really am curious how do others process through the hard times and stay on track? 

Art and Culture, a Tightrope

Ancestry 2012 a native inspired work possibly my mother's favorite piece of my art with a bear skin - thunderbird - feather on a pumpkin orange backgrounds 

This is a hard post for me to write and it has been floating around in my head for over a month now. 

Often it is so easy as humans to decide what is right and what is wrong. As artist we are often expected to push the boundaries, explore and find ourselves. But what happens when an artist finds themselves somewhere that has been deemed wrong by ourselves or others?

When it comes to appropriating art from other culture there are differing ideas on what counts as appropriation and what is right and wrong. I love the easy answers in life and would be happy to share them on this one but I am still trying to figure it out. 

Created fall 2012  I never even named this beyond May 2013 because I did not think of it as art, just an image for Vesak

I stumbled into this controversy when making calendars and trying to be inclusive of multicultural holidays. I remember a Thai friend looking at this Vesak http://www.buddhanet.net/vesak.htm piece and asking some questions but I got the distinct feeling that I had done something wrong. I had read about Vesak and looked at images to get inspiration and I had tried to make my piece look like I was staying in my style of intellectual artistic exploration and intuition. I use to think of myself as kind of an artistic sociologist/anthropologist, constantly learning and exploring.

The pieces of art that always made me afraid to share were the ones with native themes. Although my grandfather, great uncle and great grandfather were connected to their Navajo community I was raised away from my roots. No one taught me the way to follow the traditions, the stories or how to make art. I refused to use Thanksgiving imagery as my November calendar art and was hoping to make a statement with my native inspired images. 

Still I felt guilty for the images I used because I felt no rights to something I only understood intellectually. This is why I call the relationship between art and culture a Tight Rope.

Fall 2013 NGUZO SABA (The 7 Principles of Kwanzaa) I wanted to make a Kwanzaa piece that reflected my growing dedication to displaying multi-ethnic families and the diversity of connections within communities.

I was thrown when I had managed to get my first coffee shop display in January and February and I was asked to take it down early for "real black art". I was actually OK with taking my art down early as a calendar artist who recognized the significance of Black History month. I felt struck in the gut by the words it felt like I was being told I had done something wrong by creating my art. My Kwanzza piece above is based off of folks I have known and and my love of how many Portlanders make Kwanzza a big party. So this art felt very "real" to me and I acknowledge that I am only connected to the African American community through various relationships through out my life. 

More painful and confusing for me was thinking I was possibly being judged as selfish, ignorant or arrogant for taking space in February. Originally I was so excited for the opportunity that I did not think about the months. I just wanted a chance to get my unique works into the world. 

Because of my nature of questioning myself I went straight into feeling conflicted. I wanted to support Black History Month but I did not want to admit to doing something wrong by taking space with my art which was not just about my cultural experience. I of course gave the last week over but never talked about how painful the experience had been for me.

2013 Abulo de mis Suenos (The Grandfather of my Dreams) The new way of my multicultural art has been to rely on the visions that come to me.

I have started feeling more confident about my subject matter since I have been really listening to the paper and paying attention to my visions. I know I come from a highly assimilated to mainstream experience but somehow I also know the visions are part of my connection to my ancestors. Somehow when my art comes from such an intuitive place I just assume it can't be wrong.

2014 Madre Tierra (Earth Mother) A very pregnant native woman sitting in a leaf inspired by a vision

When I see a Japanese woman who is a butterfly in a kimono I don't worry I just create.

2013 M. Butterfly bridging east with west and the old tradition of Kabuki with the more modern opera of M. Butterfly.

I don't know the rights or wrongs of creating art outside of your cultural experience but I think it is something to think about. I would be curious to know your thoughts.